Born in Saigon in 1913, the son of a French petroleum company executive and the itinerant daughter of a Dutch madman who made his fortune in rubber and later drowned in Crater Lake, Oregon. Naturalized citizen of Liechtenstein, 1933. Fled the Nazis, 1937. Arrived in America, 1940. Was briefly married to actress Pier Angeli. Fled the Nazis, 1966. Arrived in Zanzibar, 1971. Crowned Emperor Blablabla I of Zanzibar the Gleaming Jewel of the Indian Sea and All the Africas, 1976. Deposed, 1977. Formed government-in-exile the same year. Acting treasurer of the Popples Fan Club. Will buy your gold.